Thursday, January 13, 2011

The Disturbing Truth: Scout is an Auburn Tiger

War Damn Eagle. 
Until they won the national championship on Monday, I didn't know much about the University of Auburn.  I didn't even know what state Auburn was in.  But after some extended exposure to their fanbase a frightening reality was exposed.  Even though D and I are Duck fans, our dog is an Auburn Tiger.

  • Her name is Scout Finch and she's from Maycomb County, Alabama.
  • She keeps barking, "War Eagle."
  • She wore a cocktail dress and insisted her boyfriend wear an orange oxford (tucked-in), khakis and loafers to the dog park. 
  • She smiles and wags her tail as she talks smack about the Ducks and then insists that she isn't being rude at all.  
  • She keeps lifting her paw into the Heisman pose.  
  • She gloats about how SEC football is just, "A way of life 'round here.  Family, All In."
  • She's told five different versions of the War Eagle legend.
  • She keeps barking, "Bodygetta Bodygetta Bodygetta Bah Rah Rah Rah Sis Boom Bah Weagle Weagle War Damn Eagle Kick em in the butt, Big Blue Hey," whatever that means. 
  • She suddenly outweighs everyone on the Oregon line by 45 pounds. 
  • She keeps insisting, "Hey, y'all played a real good game."
  • She says she had no idea her dad took $180,000 for her to play. 

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